


What drove her insane...

by Bow_woahh



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: A lot of this is just them being cute, Adora is clueless, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Glimmer is the best, I couldn't bring myself to write real angst, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Oh yeah did I mention the angst is REALLY LIGHT, Pining, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Redemption, Sharing a Bed, Useless Lesbians, but i tried, catradora, it's just really fluffy, it's really fluffy, so is Catra, these tags are a mess, they both need to step up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-09-29 12:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17203517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bow_woahh/pseuds/Bow_woahh
Summary: There were a lot of things Adora would do that would get to Catra.A lot of things that would make Catra melt inside or combust. Or both. Things that would make her feel this intense feeling in her stomach, these flips, these... butterflies, is what she thought of them as.Similarly, Adora didn't think she had many weaknesses, but most things Catra would do drove her up the wall. In a good way. In the best way.In a way that made her heart feel like it was about to hop out of her ribcage, that made her feel she was about to faint, from an unfamiliar, yet familiar, dazed dizziness.Both of them drove each other insane.





	1. Intense Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> So, hey, this is the first She-Ra fic I'm posting and I'm super excited tbh!
> 
> Originally, this was going to be a one shot, but with Catradora week and because of how I've structured it, I thought I might as well split it into 4 parts! 
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoy (:

 

There were a lot of things Adora would do that would get to Catra.

 

A lot of things that would make Catra melt inside or combust. Or both. Things that would make her feel this intense feeling in her stomach, these flips, these... butterflies, is what she thought of them as.

 

But she tried hard not to show it, and most of the time she didn't, but sometimes, she just couldn't help it. She couldn't help but look at Adora's _every_ movement, because every _single one_ mattered.

 

Because it was Adora. And simply because it was Adora.

 

Her ocean blue eyes, her blinding smile, her signature ponytail, her gorgeous laugh, and stupid jokes, hell - even her _combat stance_ in sparring was utterly _incredible_ in Catra's eyes.

 

_She is just so adorable._

 

Everything about Adora was _adorable_.

 

But that's just what everyone else saw.

 

The things that really drove Catra insane, the things that transported Catra to another universe and back - only she witnessed.

 

The two had shared a bed for years now, but usually Catra would be a foot of it, curled up by Adora's legs. At first she had gotten some teasing from the other cadets, but she didn't care, being closer to _her_ was completely worth the mockery. They would get used to it. And they did.

 

During the colder months, Catra often used it as an opportunity to snuggle closer to Adora, to feel her warmth, to have the girl she loved the most breathing softly next to her, at peace in this hellish place. And that made Catra feel at peace too.

 

Though she'd never openly admit that to Adora.

 

This time, they both knew this would warrant more than just gentle teasing, meaning Catra had to (begrudgingly) detach herself from Adora's firm, yet comforting hold, and curl up to Adora's feet as she usually did. It felt _extremely_ colder in comparison.

 

But what Catra really loved, was the mornings after a night of snuggling.

 

As Adora slowly regained consciousness, she would turn to face Catra, at a quite sluggish (but cute) pace, and with a dopey smirk on her face she would just bury her face into Catra’s neck, allowing Catra to pull them even closer until their legs were entangled too, Catra's tail brushing against Adora's ankle. All that as a pleading attempt to stop Catra from going back to the foot of the bed.

 

_Why did she have to be this cute?_

 

She would keep her cool, with a soft hum, or some days, a purr, leaving her mouth, but in reality her chest was tight and her stomach was filled to the brim with butterflies.

 

_Every time._

 

It was quite funny looking back on how it first happened, though it was also baffling as to who initiated it, and what it meant for them at that point. However, in a way, Catra knew, Adora knew, and words would just create more unneeded noise. Although, _sometimes_ noise was needed to make things loud and clear.

 

\---

 

It was late. Catra was cold. And even though she had the warmth of Adora's feet, it wasn't enough. Not only was It not warm enough, but not affectionate enough. Because, after a fairly _trash_ day with Shadow Weaver diminishing her more so than usual, and Adora not being present to try and lessen the unjust punishment, all she wanted was Adora to hold her.

 

_But I couldn't ask for that._

 

They were close, but they were close friends, and Catra knew not to push boundaries, at least not with Adora. She'd push everything and everyone else in her life, but not Adora. _Never_ Adora.

 

_She was too precious._

 

But, as she lay in the dark, shivering, she also thought about herself, and what she wanted. What she _needed_.

 

_What's the worst that could happen?_

 

Catra felt Adora shift completely to face her. She was awake, and looking at a cold contemplating Catra.

 

“Catra...are you awake? You're _shivering_.” Adora whispered, aware of the sleeping cadets around her.

 

Catra didn't know why she was so alarmed that Adora was awake, or why she couldn't find the words to simply answer Adora's question. A familiar feeling was beginning to arise in her stomach, accompanied by a tight feeling in her chest.

 

But she couldn't mess this up, Adora had basically given her a clear shot, so she had to just be straight up.

 

Catra slowly nodded, body tense.

 

“You look kinda cold, do you wan-”

 

“C-could I sleep next t’you?” Catra fumbled quickly through her words, feeling her face grow hotter and her stomach churn, the butterflies fluttering.

 

_Smooth. Real smooth Catra._

 

There was a beat of silence. Then a faint smile, only slightly visible in the darkness.

 

“Yeah, I was just gonna ask...you were literally shaking on my feet.” Adora chuckled to herself.

 

Catra's face was still warm, maybe even hotter, but the butterflies were felt a little less intense now.

 

_Wait - she was gonna ask?_

 

Her stomach started to do somersaults.

 

“Catra?” Adora whispered quietly enough so no one else could hear but just loud enough for it to be audible to Catra.

 

“Yeah, what?” She replied back absent-mindedly, not realising she had once again been caught up in her own thoughts, so caught up in the tightness in her chest that was beginning to ache.

 

“Do you want my _warmth_ then?” Catra could feel the smirk in Adora's voice, and just that thought made her tingle a little.

 

 _So, so cute..._  

 

“Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, just don't be weird about it,” Catra responded dismissively, as she made her way next to Adora, slowly, cautiously almost, knowing she wouldn't know what to do next. For once she hoped Adora would continue to take the lead.

 

As she awkwardly got underneath the blanket, she noticed how Adora's eyes didn't peel away from her, her bright blue eyes still fairly visible, despite the darkness surrounding them.

 

_Maybe I should say something?_

 

She didn't. After a couple more seconds of fumbling with the blanket (and Adora's staring), Catra finally rested her head on the pillow, Adora following suit. Catra's tail was wrapped around her thigh to stop it from flailing around from nervousness.

 

“Thanks.” Catra replied dryly, being disappointed in herself for not expecting this to be as _uneventful_ as a training session led by Kyle.

 

Though, she was only a couple inches away from Adora's face. And that was good.

 

Adora smiled with that absolutely pure and perfect smile that sent Catra wild, that shined lightness even in the dark, replying with, “No problem.”

 

Maybe Catra was hallucinating but she _swear_ she felt Adora get closer, their knees brushing against each other lightly.

 

_This isn't a dream? Right?_

 

Catra was too flustered and too tired. Not a good mixture.

 

“Well then... goodnight.” She said awkwardly, sighing. She wanted to turn the other way, but she felt frozen like this, she couldn't move, and she didn't want to.

 

Her mismatched eyes met Adora's briefly, then she shut them, in attempt to seem like she was sleeping.

 

“Wait, Catra,” Adora inched even closer than she was, her hand daintily pressed against Catra's shoulder.

 

Catra was completely stiff and frozen now. The intense butterflies were fluttering around violently again and she _swore_ she was about to combust.

 

_Huh?_

 

“Are you alright? You had a pretty rough day thanks to Shadow Weaver and the others weren't being too great either so I just thought that -” she stopped to catch up with her own thoughts and her breath, “I just thought, you might need some, well...affection, because even though you push everyone away, I just, I just want you to know that...you have me.” Adora sighed as though the biggest weight had just been lifted off her shoulders.

 

Catra had just collected herself after short-circuiting, but Adora's mini-rant had set her back a couple steps.

 

Silence. And Adora's eyes. Silence. And Adora's eyes.

 

“Catra?” Adora's hand moved from her shoulder, to softly brushing her cheek.

 

“Yeah?” Was all she could say back, savouring Adora's touch, relishing in the almost _intoxicating_ feeling in her stomach.

 

“Are...are you alright?”

 

She wasn't, and couldn't hold it in anymore, she couldn't hide it anymore.

 

The floodgates had opened.

 

“No...no Adora, today was terrible. Every day is terrible, I just don't know ho-” she was quietly whimpering, Adora wiping away the flurry of tears.

 

“Hey, hey hey, it's okay, you have me, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Catra,” her voice alone soothed Catra, calmed her down.

 

“I'm sorry I couldn't help you today, but, what can I do to help you now?”

 

Catra was finally vulnerable enough to admit to what she wanted. What she needed.

 

“C-could you...hold me? That's _all_ I've wanted...” she mumbles the last few words.

 

_I can't believe I just said that._

 

Adora grins, “Wow, I didn't know you were that-”

 

“Don't finish that sentence,” Catra warned,  Adora slipping out a small chuckle. They were still only an inch or so away from each other.

 

“I won't,” Adora said, more earnestly, more softly, intertwining their legs.

 

Catra felt another flip.

 

“Good,” is all she can think to say, before she finds herself melting deeper and deeper into Adora's touch, Adora's sweet scent, into Adora herself, as the other girl caresses her cheek.

 

_It's quiet. It's peacefully quiet._

 

Catra's tail wraps around Adora's waist now, and Adora's hand does the same, pulling Catra closer and ever before. Adora's fingers trace circles lightly on Catra's lower back, and even that drives Catra to what feels like the edge.

 

The butterflies are so intense, it feels more like a scorching fire now. Then, Adora's other hand wanders to behind Catra's ear, lightly scratching, causing a low rumble to erupt in Catra's throat. She can feel Adora smile, but she doesn't say anything, words mean nothing now.

 

_Not right now they don't._

 

She leans into Adora's touch, and soon she is softly purring into her chest, as Adora mindlessly scratches behind her ear. She feels Adora's heart beat. It's quick. Quicker than usual. But she forgets about that, and focuses on Adora's warmth. She definitely isn't cold anymore.

 

_It's so so warm, I don't know if I ever wanna let go._

 

“Goodnight Catra,” Adora mumbles, so entranced by the other girls soft purrs.

 

“Thank you,” she mumbles back, growing groggier.

 

_Before I fall asleep..._

 

“Love you.” She mutters so, so quietly, that if Adora wasn't paying complete attention, she would've missed.

 

Adora sighs sleeplily, “love you too.”

 

Sleep overcomes them both.

Catra, wrapped up in Adora's warmth, wrapped up in Adora's _love_ , finally feels at peace. No more shivering.

 

They didn't talk about the two words Catra uttered. They just continued saying it.

They didn't talk about why it happened, what _exactly_ it meant.

They just continued doing it.

 

And every time, Catra's face would grow warmer, her chest would get tighter till it hurt and the butterflies would turn into something more intense, something she could never pinpoint. Adora _really_ drove her insane.

 

\------

 

Now, Adora drove her insane in a different way.

In a ‘I want to kill you’ way.

 

And she didn't think that would change.

 

_I hate her._


	2. Her Heart Goes Thud Thud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is upon is! Thank you for all the kudos and comments on the last chapter, every single comment put a fat smile on my face, hopefully chapter 3 will be out but the end of this week, I just need to edit it. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy (:

Adora didn't think she had many weaknesses, but most things Catra would do drove her up the wall. In a good way. In the _best way_.

 

In a way that made her heart feel like it was about to hop out of her ribcage, that made her feel she was about to faint, from an unfamiliar, yet familiar, dazed dizziness.

 

But in the Horde, whatever she was feeling would definitely be considered a weakness, so she tried her best to conceal these feelings, though sometimes that wasn't always possible. Sometimes her eyes just seemed to follow Catra's body around, without her even realising.

 

That Mischievous smirk constantly on her face, her untamed yet perfect hair that was always gorgeous in Adora's mind. Her mismatched eyes that seemed to pierce into her soul, that _cute_ giggle Catra would let out every once in a while, and the fact she cared so, so much for Adora (she just never outright said it) made Adora feel like she was walking on clouds some days. Even her determination to beat Adora in training was something she found so...she couldn't even find the word she was looking for.

 

_She was near perfect._

 

Adora thought that Catra was the closest thing to perfect, despite all her flaws, despite what everyone else, what _Shadow Weaver_ , said.

 

\---

 

Adora had self control.

 

Meaning she never usually acted on the _urges_ she had to be closer to Catra, physically closer, but it was such a freezing night, that even Adora could use the extra warmth. And Catra.

 

Her heart was already thudding a little too loudly for her liking when she had started to ask Catra if she wanted to sleep with her, and it only got louder when Catra interrupted her to ask instead.

 

_Play it cool Adora._

 

She didn't want to come across as too needy, or too affectionate, but she needed to know Catra was ok, it was extremely important to her. And she wanted to help in anyway she could. So she did. And she was glad. No, she was ecstatic. She was lying next to Catra feeling dizzy from the sight of her and as if her heart was going to explode. Eventually the mixture of Catra, tiredness, and dizziness had overcome her, and she fell asleep in her favourite person's arms.

 

 _She said I love you,_ Adora had thought before drifting off to sleep, _and I said it back_.

 

Early the next morning Adora felt Catra's tail untangle from her, and the warmth of her legs between hers being taken away.

 

_Oh right. We couldn't be found like this._

 

But that didn't stop her from trying to stop Catra. Adora whined softly, turning back drowsily to face Catra (she had most definitely shifted in her sleep) and stopped her in the only way she thought she could. With a dopey smirk on her face, she drew herself closer to Catra, surprising her (and even herself), as she buried her head into Catra's neck, taking in the familiar smell, allowing their legs to be one once again. Well, at least for a little bit more. She felt a soft purr erupt from Catra's throat. The same dazed feeling came back again, and Adora welcomed it.

 

 _ThudThudThudThud_ Thud.

 

She also welcomed back the loud beat in her chest. She felt so safe. She wished she never had to move again.

 

Though all good things come to an end.

 

“Adora, people are starting to wake up, come on, you have to let me go eventually,” Catra whispered into her ears, sounding harsher than she had meant to.

 

Adora grumbled, allowing Catra to move back to the foot of the bed, all the warmth and comforting feelings being washed away in an instant.

 

Today was going to be a long day.

But hopefully it would end the same way that the last ended - Her in Catra's arms.

 

Adora couldn't concentrate. She kept replaying every little thing she did, every little thing Catra did that night, analysing it like it was a _battle plan_.

 

_If only it were that easy._

 

Any time she had to think, in fact any time at all, she was thinking of the events of last night.

 

While she knew anymore words exchanged about yesterday would serve no purpose, she couldn't help but think about how this changed things. She couldn't decide whether it was a good or bad change. She got an answer for that question soon enough however.

 

 _She said I love you_ , Adora thought once more as she was in the shower, Catra being in the one next to her, only a curtain between them. She thought that maybe she should say something.

 

_But what would I say?_

 

She turned the water off and dried herself quickly, putting her Horde uniform back on.

 

She waited outside for Catra as she always did, so they could go collect their ration bars together. After a couple minutes Catra emerged, that cute smirk appearing on her face.

 

“Hey Adora.” She said with no intent to make actual conversation, it was more of a way to capture Adora's attention.

 

Adora replied nonetheless, “Hi Catra,” she returned Catra's grin with one of her own, standing up, to  both make their way to the food hall, walking in a somewhat comfortable silence.

 

_So far, so good._

 

It went downhill from there.

 

Adora's focus was drawn to two things: Catra and not getting caught looking at Catra.

 

The fact she was supposed to be doing laps interfered with that.

 

“Pick up the pace Cadet!”

 

“Sorry sir!” Adora sped up to Catra, she almost didn't mean to, she just gravitated there.

 

“What's got your attention today? It's clearly not this.” Catra smirked, looking fairly at ease with the pace they were going at at the moment.

 

“Nothing…” Adora mumbled. How could she really explain to Catra that she was distracted, because of Catra? Despite how close they were last night, Adora couldn't help but feel a million miles away, feeling as though her feelings wouldn't match up at all with her friends. It was driving her crazy.

 

_Catra is driving me crazy._

 

The other girl just nodded, as if she silently understood everything going on in Adora’s mind.

 

_If only..._

 

After what felt like forever, they finished the grueling laps and had an opportunity to take a break, before running battle simulations and combat practice.

 

Despite everything going on in Adora's mind, despite her only being able to think of Catra snuggling against her chest and purring softly, she was still able to joke around as usual with her friend, allowing those complicated feelings to be pushed to the back of her mind.

 

She chuckled along as Catra described Kyle's reaction to running 10 more laps, and how disheveled he was after.

 

“He looked as red an...apple!”

 

Adora burst out laughing at that.

 

“An apple? I don't think that's a normal comparison for someone to make,” she said through a fit of giggles.

 

“Well,” Catra took a step closer to her, “I'm not that normal, in my defense,” and did that _cute_ grin that sent Adora's heart racing and head spinning once more.

 

_Could she stop being that beautiful?_

 

Before she had time to respond the pair were called backed with the rest to run a battle simulation of the Whispering Woods once more, as they had been doing for what felt like forever now. Straight after they would have combat practice, one on one and Adora wasn't sure whether she should hope to go up against Catra, or someone else, as both could easily lead to something bad.

 

At least after that they would have the rest of the day to themselves. Adora hoped she would ease through the rest of the day, but so far it didn't seem like she was. She was tense. She was vulnerable. She was so focused on Catra. Catra.

 

_Catra._

 

The Horde didn't like people having strong bonds, and Adora was starting to see why. Catra was practically her _biggest_ weakness.

 

As quickly as Adora thought this though, she thought the exact opposite.

 

 _She makes me stronger. She makes me who I am. I_ **_need_ ** _her._

 

And that thought did not waver.

 

Once again, Adora had lost herself deep in thought; once again she was being shouted at and once again, she was lagging behind everyone else. She sighed, running up to fight the simulated princesses.

 

\--

 

After a miserable attempt to concentrate during the battle simulation, Adora knew she had to give it her all this time. And of course, Shadow Weaver had come to watch too. Today was not her day.

 

And she and Catra were the only pair left who hadn't battled...the odds were definitely against her.

 

“Last two! You're up!” The major threw them their batons.

 

Before getting into position, Catra's tail brushed subtly against Adora's ankles, sending a shiver up her spine and causing her heart to pulsate notably more.

 

_At the most inconvenient times._

 

Catra smirked. Shadow Weaver looked at her expecting something, something good, but

Adora knew she had already lost this fight before it began...

 

Catra had skillfully swiped her legs with the baton, causing her to slip, hitting the floor with a loud impact. She rolled to dodge Catra's next hit, but as soon as she tried to scramble to her feet, the other girl had already taken her out once again.

 

“Catra wins!” The major announced.

 

There were a couple, “well done’s” and claps around the room, and happy Catra jumping around, with a triumphant look on her face.

 

Adora was still so dazed at the quick defeat she didn't realise Shadow Weaver approaching her, silencing everyone in the process.

 

“...Adora!” She snapped her head up to look at the sorceress, “What are you doing girl? Get up off the floor, only losers wallow in their defeat.” She spat it out venomously, yet still with a deceivingly endearing tone.

 

“Technically, she did lose…” Catra trailed off, knowing what was coming.

 

“Be silent you insolent child!” The endearing tone had disappeared.

 

Adora was meekly listening.

 

“As I said before, off the floor girl!” Adora clambered of the ground, standing to face Shadow Weaver.

 

“Now,” she took hold of Adora's jaw, “where was your focus today cadet?”

 

Adora didn't know what to say, especially since everyone was watching this unravel too. She definitely couldn't say the real reason. She definitely couldn't say that she was too focused on Catra's face to focus on her jabs. Or that she was too hung up on _last night_ to think about an actual attack strategy. Catra really was driving her crazy.

 

Her face was growing hotter, and she wished she could've hung her head in shame, but she couldn't even do that, as Shadow Weaver's hold was so intense and unforgiving.

 

“I... I've just, well, I,” Adora drew in her breath, glancing briefly at a worried Catra, “I guess I just buckled under pressure,” she had a light, a very light laugh at the end of her sentence.

 

Shadow Weaver drew her face closer to Adora's, examining it.

 

“It won't happen again.” Adora said it so quickly that it sounded like one word.

 

Shadow Weaver had straightened her posture and turned in the other direction, and just when Adora thought she could relax, Shadow Weaver said, “Next time this happens, I won't be pleased or as forgiving…”

 

She left. Everyone relaxed and started talking again, like none of what happened just happened. Well everyone but Catra and Adora.

 

How could Catra be _calm_ when Adora had just been threatened so fiercely by Shadow Weaver, who she knew was capable of nothing but evil. Adora, despite the more oblivious of the two, also knew this couldn't be any good. The few times she had been punished by Weaver were times she'd never forget for as long as she lived...

 

And Adora knew it was her fault. But she felt like she couldn't help it. She couldn't control what (or who) her eyes follow, and she definitely couldn't control her heart rate and how it loved to speed up when Catra was even near. Or when Catra touches her.

 

And just like everyone else, Shadow Weaver scared her, despite her being the _favourite_. The sorceress was still unpredictable. And that alone is scary.

 

She felt defeated. By so much, yet so little.

 

_Is that possible?_

 

Adora was still buried in her thoughts when the major tapped her on the shoulder, “Cadet, get your gear off,”  a hint of sympathy in his voice.

 

“Yes sir,” she mumbled, sauntering over the the locker room, which was now deserted, as everyone has rushed off to enjoy the next couple hours to themselves.

 

_Where's Catra though?_

 

Adora knew for certain she hasn't gone off with the others so that left little to work with. However, she shoved that thought to the back of her mind as she took the training gear off, head hanging low with mix of feelings.

 

Disappointment. _Confusion_ . Frustration. _Love_. Fear.

 

It was too much. This day was too much. She wanted time to actually think, but she also wanted to talk to Catra. And she wished she had the guts to do it now. Because sometimes it's the unspoken words that need to be said the most.

 

 _Catra said she loved me._ _I said I loved Catra._

 

Adora hardly knew what love was. The only love she knew was what she was taught by the Horde, To love the Horde and Hordak. But it wasn't only applicable to that. To love was to care, and she cared. But what do you do with love? And why did Catra make her dizzy until she couldn't think straight?

 

So much to learn, nowhere to learn it from…

 

She stood by her locker, trying to think, trying to be logical, but it was difficult. All she knew was that she wanted Ca-

 

\--

 

A warm body pressed against hers. Lean, but strong arms wrapped around her waist. A shaky breath tickling her neck. The strong, yet familiar grimy yet clean scent. They are so close, too close. No space between them, chest pressed against back.

 

Adora's face flushes red. And the dizziness, that addictive dizziness is back. And -

 

_ThudThudThudThudThudThud._

 

Of course it's Catra. Who else would it be? The question that does enter Adora's mind is:

 

_Why, Catra?_

 

It's almost as if the world, or Catra herself, is taunting her, after a whole day of Catra stuck in her mind, yearning Catra's touch, she's got it. But it took her far too much by surprise, making her mind just shut down. Catra _really_ knew how to push all the wrong (right?) buttons.

 

Adora shut her eyes and let all the senses overwhelm her, she let Catra's breathing, and Catra's body pressed against hers the only thing she was aware of. She _let go_.

 

Adora didn't know how long they spent like that in utter silence. It wasn't more than a minute or two, but her train of thoughts stopped her from trying to enjoy it, instead filling her with worry and panic.

 

When Catra finally broke the silence, in what felt like had been an eternity, Adora lost it.

 

Not above a whisper, Catra spoke softly into Adora's ear, “I'm sorry for...distracting you today.”

 

Catra's _angelic_ voice made Adora visibly shudder in her tight grip, her knees were getting weaker by the second, her heart was going at a million miles per hour at this point, and that damned dizziness had come back with avengence.  

 

Catra continued after a brief pause, “I have been a little too, after... _last night_ , so I guess it only makes sense you'd be confused, even _I'm_ confused at what to do...or say.” Catra was still holding her tightly.

 

“I, I just want you to know that, I meant what I said, and you don't have to overthink it in that _Adora_ way by overcomplicating it in your mind, just...don't make it a big deal.”

 

Adora finally spoke, “I couldn't stop thinking about you, Catra.”

 

_That was the truth._

 

She felt Catra's face grow hotter.

 

“I'm sorry, I should have-”

 

“Don't be,” she cut Catra off, “It's not your fault,” Adora squeezed the hand around her waist.

 

“But Shadow Weaver humiliated you in front of everyone, not to mention threatened you, and all I did was watch, and if it weren't for me-”

 

“Catra.”

 

Adora had turned all her nervous energy into what resembled _passion_ , and using that small burst of energy to twist out of Catra's grip to finally meet clashing eyes. Adora pulled her into the tightest, warmest and most meaningful hug she's ever given in her life.

 

_Before it's too late..._

 

“I love you,” she murmers into Catra's neck.

 

_ThudThudThudThudThudThud._

 

“Love you too,” she can feel Catra smirk.

 

The dizziness calmed.

The speed of her heart calmed.

But it would always come back, every single time.

And the intensity only increased from there.

Catra _really_ drove her insane.

 

\---

 

Now, Catra drove her insane in a different way.

In a ‘I want you to stop trying to kill me’ way.

 

And she honestly wished for things to go back to how they were before.  

 

_I still love her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Thank you for reading till the end, kudos and comments are all be appreciated!
> 
> Thank you to @Untamed_thistle @Thunder_Jake and a couple others for the support and commenting. And thanks to @Nessarin_the_greatish for reading this and giving me some good criticism on how to improve it!
> 
>  
> 
> Can't wait for you guys to read the next chapter, it will finally answer the questions about the angsty bits at the end of each chapters (sort of) so I'll try get it out soon!
> 
> Also if you'd like to follow me on Tumblr, my username is the exact same lmao, here's the link too:
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bow-woahh


	3. Intense Butterflies dance once more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is out AND early! Thank you for all the comments, hits and kudos on the last two chapters, hope you guys enjoy (:

Catra never thought she'd be back _here_.

 

Back with Adora, like before. But not like before. Now she was in the rebellion with princess _Glitter_ and that kid _Arrow._ Now she didn't have a curfew. Now she didn't have combat training, or sparring with an angry Lonnie. And most importantly she didn't have any competition, because technically she was at the top here.

 

She only really answered to the Queen, but it's not as if the Queen cared whether she slept in or not.

 

It was all new. It was all strange.

 

And Catra didn't like that. Adora knew this, so in an attempt to comfort Catra she insisted in doing things like sparring _early_ in the morning, much to Catra's dismay (though it did help), and letting Catra sleep in her (virtually, their) bed.

 

_Even after everything._

 

Adora first insisted Catra sleep with her on her first night when Glimmer showed her to _her_ room, Adora following along, possibly a little weary of Catra still. She had good reason however, Catra had been the enemy just last week ago.

 

However, although she had still _outwardly_ fought Adora up until that point, she had actually been sabotaging from the inside. But she didn't plan on telling anyone. She didn't want the praise. It was  _her_ secret.

 

“...And here's your room!” Glimmer had said, opening the door handle, leaving Catra at the door frame awestruck at the size of it. It was nearly the size of the barracks back at the Fright Zone!

 

Catra was so shocked at the size of the room that she hadn't noticed Adora's staring or the tense awkward silence that had arisen.

 

“I guess I'll just...just leave you two then,” she broke the silence, sounding a lot less energetic than before, and promptly left Catra and Adora to her own devices. 

 

It made sense she wasn't adamant to converse casually with a former enemy despite her closeness to Adora, so Catra wasn't bothered.

 

Not to mention she was _alone_ with Adora.

 

A familiar feeling she hadn't felt in a while started to rise in her stomach…

 

“It's a lot to take in, isn't it?” Adora filled the empty space next to Catra, pulling her out of the abyss of her mind.

 

“Huh? Oh yeah... I didn't expect them to treat an ex Horde soldier so well.”

 

“Well...in my room I have a mini _waterfall_ , so this is basically standard,” Adora replied, trying to act nonchalantly, facing Catra, with that recognisable grin making the feeling on her stomach intensify.

 

 **_Chill out_ ** _, Catra._

 

“No way! Is it for showering?” Catra genuinely didn't know what other reason you would need it, and she was desperately trying to get rid of that pesky, yet compelling feeling.

 

Adora giggled ( _why did she have to giggle?)_ “Apparently not, I'm not exactly sure what it does…”

 

“And I thought I was dumb.” At this point insults were her only defense mechanism.

 

Adora gasped, turned to face Catra and punched her playfully on the shoulder, “Hey! You don't know either!”

 

Catra had let out a giggle too, she _couldn't_ hold it in, and now they were both laughing together.

 

_Just like old times._

 

It was different though. Everything was.

 

Catra's laugh faltered, and she finally said, quieter than it should have been, “I should probably get some rest, so...uh, see you tomorrow?”

 

The girl that Catra had once said 'I love you’ to had a sad smile on her face, and even that made Catra's stomach flip a little.

 

_Can't we go back to us before?_

 

“Yeah, I guess…” Adora gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder, before turning around to walk away, with Catra watching her go.

 

However, just as she was about to leave, she  swiveled around.

 

“Actually, Catra, would you, um, want to sleep with….me?” Adora tried to keep eye contact, but Catra could tell she was finding it difficult, because she was too.

 

The butterflies were dancing once more.

 

Adora stumbled over the rest of her words, mostly looking at the floor. “I mean, you, you don't have to, I-I just thought since you're used to sleeping in the barracks, and with all the people so-”

 

“-Adora.”

 

“Yes?”

 

_She was still so cute._

 

“I'd like that, but-”

 

“This doesn't mean you like me, blah, blah, I get it, I get it.” Confident Adora had made her triumphant return.

 

“I wasn't gonna say that actually…” Catra muttered under her breath, too busy trying to keep these reminiscent feelings at bay, to notice Adora's lips tug into that signature smirk.

 

“Suree, Catra,” she gestured for Catra to follow her, who was lagging slightly behind as they made her way to the room. Adora held the door open for Catra, letting her look around in wonderment.

 

_There really is a waterfall._

 

“It's super flashy. And pink, which isn't really my style, or yours, but you get used to it. “ Adora started babbling, the way she used to when she was feeling a mix of confidence and nerves and-

 

 _Could she still_ **_love_ ** _me?_

 

Catra pulled away from those thoughts, finding her way to the bed, which was almost identical to the ones back at the barracks. Apart from the atrocious, obnoxiously pink colour. She sat down, Adora following suit.

 

“It's even bigger than my room…” Catra breathed, almost saying it to herself.

 

Adora forced a laugh, “Yeah, it's _great_...I really like-” she stopped herself, cursing underneath her breath, then continued, saying the complete opposite to what she had started with.

 

“It's too big. I don't like it. It-it gets so so lonely and cold and- it doesn't help with the nightmares either, most nights I-”

 

“Hey, hey, don't worry about that, I can protect you from the scary monsters, you know, keep them at bay,” Catra laughed and bumped Adora's shoulder against her on, with even that contact sending what felt like little electric shocks through her body. And those _damn_ butterflies.

 

Hopefully Adora took it the way she intended it to be, in a _joking_ , not sarcastic way, hoping it would reassure her friend, but keep the conversation light.

 

Because she _didn't_ want to talk about things.

 

_Not tonight. Maybe never._

 

Adora was facing her now, a somewhat suggestive smile on her face. “Oh really? Well, I think that'd make me feel a _lot_ safer having you here then.”

 

Catra was having a hard time keeping those butterflies under control. While it was good Adora was playing along, Adora was playing along _too_ well, already leaving Catra a flustered mess.

 

Red splashed on her cheeks, Catra stammered through her words.

 

“S-shut up” she drew her attention to the ground, staring at that over Adora's face.

 

_I'd prefer her face to the floor though._

 

Adora let out another giggle. _More_ butterflies. Catra couldn't catch a break.

 

For a little while, they sat there in silence, at first being an awkward silence, slipping into a more comfortable, _comforting_ silence.

 

Now, Catra was finally able to revert back to her normal, less flustered self, and Adora was growing drowsier, less coherent and careful.

 

It was still a fairly bad mixture.

 

Adora let out a yawn, “Geez, it's so dark outside...we, we should probably go to sleep.”

 

Catra brought her attention to the blonde, stepping out of her trance.

 

“Oh, sleep -yeah we should sleep, it's late,” her reply was delayed as she had been so focused on trying to get her brain to stop making her think of Adora's laugh, smile, and voice she had missed dearly-

 

_I'm not good at this._

 

It wasn't working.

 

It was as if Adora was waiting for Catra's permission to do so, finally letting herself relax after hearing Catra's words, practically flinging her boots off and falling into the comfort of her pillows.

 

Catra glanced over at the girl for a second, eyes already closed, not sleeping, but tired for sure.

 

She smiled, more to herself than anything.

 

Adora was shifting, trying to find a comfortable position, with not much space to work with because of an idle Catra sitting in the middle of the bed.

 

“Hey....Catra?” Adora's words were slightly slurred, but still understandable.

 

Catra tensed up on instinct, surprised by Adora calling out her name, making her stomach twist even more.

 

“Yeah?” Her mouth was dry and she didn't really know what she should be expecting.

 

“Could you, uh, maybe get of the blanket...thanks?”

 

_Idiot._

 

Catra immediately got up, allowing Adora to have all the space she needed.

 

_Of course she didn't want to be near me._

 

Catra scoffed at her own foolishness, wanting to hit herself over the head with a brick.

 

She started to make her way to the foot of the bed, when Adora let out a noisy groan, then-

 

“Hey, Catra?”

 

Catra sighed, wondering what she could of done wrong now.

 

“Yes, Adora?”

 

Sleepily, she murmured, “You said you'd protect me from the scary monsters…”

 

_What?_

 

Even despite Catra's confusion, her stomach was twisting, flipping, twirling, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

 

“Huh?” Was all Catra could think to say.

 

Adora sat up, “You can't protect me from _there, so -”_ she patted the space next to her, almost in slow motion in Catra's mind, “-you have to be _close_ to me.”

  


More twists. More flips. More twirls. _More butterflies._

 

 _Ughhh_.

 

“I-you're just tired, and it's not…” Catra's sentence faltered, because as she looked at Adora, pleading eyes staring back at her, and she realised she could never say no to _that_ face.

 

A sigh of defeat left her lips. “Okay, okay, I'm coming.” She sauntered her way to the bed, taking small, small steps towards Adora. Small steps to _Adora_.

 

Now she was finally sunk into the mattress, blanket over both their bodies, only a couple inches from Adora's face, knees brushing against each other. For a second everything felt right in her mind.

  


“This feels oddly nostalgic,” Adora practically hummed the words, so soft Catra could barely hear.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I feel better now. I feel a lot better than I have in a while,” her lips turned a little upright.

 

Catra's heart ached.

 

 _Me too_.

 

Adora accepted Catra's silence as an answer, her convoluted, yet hopeful eyes saying enough.

 

Catra did eventually speak, after a couple seconds of carefully pondering her next sentence, and whether it could _fix_ things. Some things, not everything. She doesn't know.

 

She said it anyway.

 

“Wha...what can I do to make things _even_ better?” Adora's eyes fluttered open to see the honesty displayed in Catra's, putting her at ease.

 

Adora already knew what she wanted, she had known for a while, in fact.

 

“Could you...Hold me? That's _all_  I've wanted…”

 

Catra thought of making a joke, to lessen the intense atmosphere, to lessen the restless butterflies constantly reminding her of her feelings, but she didn't.

 

_That's all I've wanted too._

 

No words left Catra's mouth, she just nodded and Adora turned around to face away from Catra, allowing her to shuffle closer, bodies fitting together like a jigsaw puzzle. Slotting together _perfectly_.

 

Catra breathed steadily against Adora's neck, who was slowly losing consciousness, but Catra didn't mind, in fact she felt the most content she's _ever_ been, the most content knowing Adora felt safe and happy in her arms.

 

That feeling is what makes her cheeks warm the most.

That feeling is what sends a flurry of butterflies dancing in her gut.

That feeling is what drives her the most insane.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, hope you enjoyed, I really appreciate kudos and comments, they really keep me going. 
> 
> Hopefully there were no mistakes, if there were, please drop a comment and maybe even copy exactly where it is so I know exactly where it it.
> 
> Chapter 4 will be up sometime next week, I actually need to start writing it, but I've been preoccupied with Catradora Week. 
> 
> But also since school is back up, if might be out next Sunday, which is a pretty big gap. I'll try my best for you guys though! 
> 
> Anyway if you'd like to follow me on Tumblr, my username is the exact same lmao, here's the link too:
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bow-woahh


	4. Her heart Goes Thud Thud and never stops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for this being late but school :( 
> 
> BUT, I'm excited for you guys to read this final chapter, so enjoy, it's a long one!

 

Adora only ever thought Catra would be here in her dreams, mostly because Catra _was_ often in her dreams.

 

In fact, Catra was _always_ in her dreams when she sleeping all the way across Etheria in the Fright Zone, and not curled up next to her.

 

 _Not anymore_.

 

Now Catra was all hers again. And she was all Catra's.

 

Though she still made fairly regular appearances in Adora's fantasies. And they were usually a _lot_ nicer.

 

But things weren't couldn't be smooth sailing from the beginning.

 

Adora was rightfully a little weary and apprehensive at first, on edge having gotten used to keeping her guard up around Catra. However, as soon as she _actually_ talked to her - it felt like home.

 

Bright Moon finally felt like home.

 

_All because of her._

 

And Adora couldn't contain her _need_ to be close to Catra, not even on her first night.

 

She wanted to feel the racing of her heart again, she wanted her head to start spinning, the way it had before as she went to sleep that night.

 

And it did. She felt that and much more.

Adora felt at _peace_ as Catra's chest was pressed up against her back, and she succumbed to sleep the fastest she had since last being in her arms. Since _first_ being _,_ in her arms.

 

The best part of it all, was that when they had to wake up, Adora could (and did) sluggishly turn to face Catra, and with a dopey smirk on her face, she'd bury her face in Catra's neck.

 

Just like before. Though this time, it lasted much, much longer - there were no cadets in the room to ridicule them now.

\---

It had been a couple months now, and Catra had gotten used to most things, which Adora was glad for.

 

At first her and Glimmer didn't talk much, it was if they had a silent agreement to stay civil, but not be friendly. Adora somewhat fixed this however, as she made them go on a surveillance mission which _required_ them to talk if they planned on staying awake.

 

Afterwards they warmed up to each other a bit more.

 

Bow on the other hand, was _too_ friendly, which slightly scared Catra, but eventually she got used to it and they actually got on surprisingly well. Soon enough they were pranking Adora together, much to her dismay.

 

Everything was better. Everything was the best it had ever been. And soon enough, _one day_ , the war would be over and they could finally rest.

 

Catra and her could finally rest, together.

 

She couldn't wait for that day.

 

But until then, Adora would happily fight beside the girl she loved the most, because when she would fall, _Catra_ would be there to catch her, and when she was wounded, _Catra_ would be there to help her. Most importantly, when everything got too much, _Catra_ would be there to hold her.

 

\--

 

It felt as if her heart never slowed when Catra was around.

 

And for the first time, sitting in her room, Adora realised something - she didn't exactly know _what_ these feelings were.

 

That haziness and the speed her heart would pound was a familiar, yet unfamiliar feeling.

 

 _Unidentifiable_.

 

However, before she had the chance to delve deeper into her thoughts, Catra had barged in, with a spring in her step as she strode over to Adora's desk.

 

“ _Hey, Adora.”_ She had the biggest smirk on her face, with her hands behind her back, tail swaying.

 

For some reason she was excited, Adora noted.

 

She smiled back, “What is it Catra? I can tell when you're hiding something, y'know.”

 

“Gah!” Catra sighed, as if exasperated. “You're _too_ observant Adora.”

 

“Sorry I guess?” She shrugged, “It's an important skill to have.”

 

“ _Not_ in this case.”

 

“Well, what is this case then?” Adora was curious at what Catra was plotting.

 

 _Hopefully not another prank_.

 

They were almost done on a weekly basis now.

But, whatever this was seemed more genuine, because she never got this excited unless it was-

 

“Close your eyes.”

 

“Catra...if this is another one of your pranks I’m going to-”

 

“Cmon, just do it, it'll be good!” Catra was growing slightly impatient so Adora groaned, giving into her demands.

 

“Oh, and stay still.”

 

All of a sudden, Catra took hold of Adora's wrist, making her heart rate pick up - not by much, but enough to notice. Then, she felt her sleeve being pushed up, and that Catra was putting something on it. She didn't know what, and wanted to open her eyes and see, but all she could do was keep still to make whatever Catra was doing easier, despite how much she wanted to squirm.

 

Adora felt Catra fiddling with something on her wrist, and suddenly it clicked it her mind -

 

_a bracelet?_

 

The tampering stopped.

 

“You can open your eyes now,” her voice was calmer now, smoother and _softer_.

 

Adora did, and she was practically in awe at the sheer beauty and meaning in something so small. All it was was a simple red string bracelet, with a small metal heart in the middle, and a _C_ , most definitely for Catra.

 

Her head was spinning a little now. All because of a small gift.

 

 _A gift from Catra_.

 

“Catra…” Adora was speechless. Words couldn't convey the blissful feeling that was so obviously pouring out of her. Instead of a simple thank you, she decided to leap from the chair into Catra's arms, pulling her into a tight gratitude filled hug.

 

Catra was evidently stunned from it, stuttering through her sentence. “Hey, it's just a small- stop being so weird abou-”

 

“Thank you,” Adora muttered, cutting her off.

 

 _I don't deserve her_.

 

“After everything you're just so...and I know we're okay, no, _better_ than okay, but I can't help but think back to when, to how- I _left_ you, with _her_ and, and, if I just- and, ugh _, god_ , I'm just so sorry.”

 

She still felt dizzy in Catra's arms, though a tear rolled down her cheek, dripping onto the other girl's shoulder.

 

And as soon as it hit her skin, Catra pulled them apart, hands on Adora's shoulders, a reassuring look in her eyes.

 

“Adora, it wasn't your fault, it was _hers_ , and you were still pretty naïve, at the time, no offence.” Catra's thumb caressed her cheek, wiping away another straggling tear, mouth quirking up, then continuing.

 

“Besides, I'm no saint, if anything _I_ don't deserve you - but it doesn't matter, we both have each other, and we're happier and this was supposed to be a happy moment too, if it wasn't for your...emotions,” she chuckled, pulling her into another hug.

 

_She really is amazing._

 

“I'm sor-”

 

“Stop saying sorry!” Catra grumbled, though there was still a grin on her face.

 

“Sor- wait I didn't say anything,” Adora quickly replied, making Catra laugh once more.

 

As they had parted again, Catra had merged into the more tense version of herself, one who was searching for approval, praise, recognition.

 

“Do you...do you like it?” Her tail was swishing anxiously.

 

“Catra,” Adora took her hand, which made her heart start thudding even louder, “it's beautiful, and I love it and I-”

 

_I love you._

 

Even though they were better now, even though Catra was with her in Bright Moon now, even though they slept as close as possible to each other every night, even though they practically said I love you everyday through their actions, the two hadn't said it out loud since the Horde.

 

But she _wanted_ to hear it, and she wanted to see Catra's eyes shimmer, and she wanted to feel that whirling sensation at its peak as Catra uttered the words back - so why didn't she just do it?

 

The answer to that was very complicated.

 

“Oh yeah!” Catra's untamable bursts of excitement meant she hadn't noticed Adora cut herself off. “There's also a _C_ on there, if you didn't notice- it stands for, um, _me_ , since I just thought it'd be...you know, cool and stuff.” The nonchalance in her voice was still tainted by a mix of giddiness and anxiousness, a mix Adora was all too familiar with.

 

“Yeah, it's really pretty,” Adora smiled, hand still holding Catra's, before they both realised, hesitantly letting go, Adora already missing the warmth it had.

 

_Why is it we sleep next to each other every night, but holding hands somehow gets awkward?_

 

The anxiousness in Catra's voice became more visible once more. “I also, got one too, with an _A_ on it, but, I thought that...maybe you could put it on for me?” She held up the bracelet.

 

Adora's face flushed, flattered that Catra had asked her so... _formally_ , as this was very out of the norm for Catra.

 

“Of course,” Adora was practically beaming as took the bracelet from Catra, though as she was taking ahold of her wrist, she was stopped.

 

“Could you, actually put it on my ankle, _please?”_

 

_How, no- why, would I refuse?_

 

Adora could never, and would never, refuse Catra of anything, because not only was she incapable of doing so, but also not interested in doing so either.

 

She knelt down, feeling so much smaller than Catra, not less than, just more...vulnerable. Then she looked up at Catra, and as their eyes met she knew Catra was thinking the same thing- they were both vulnerable, but that's when they were at their best.

 

_When both of our walls are knocked down._

 

Adora had tied it around her ankle, albeit not very well at first, as for whatever reason she couldn't stop her hands from shaking, so Catra, still as polite as before, said, “could it be a little tighter?”

 

Eventually, she had tied it successfully, so she took a moment to admire it for a second, before getting up to be at eye level with Catra once more.

 

A split second of silence passed as they stared intensely into each others eyes, figuring out what words were needed to say next. Catra was the one to figure that out first, as Adora's focus was completely enveloped by her hypnotising, conflicting eyes.

 

“I was thinking...these can be a symbol of a new beginning for us - no more blaming each other for the past, because we're here now, and that's what matters, okay?”

 

_A new promise._

 

Adora's lips quirked up, “Okay,” she was still entranced as she replied and didn't notice Glimmer enter the room, eyeing Catra with a hint of suspicion, then clapping her hands, bringing Adora back to reality.

 

“Hey guys! I've been looking for you _everywhere_ , I just wanted to say we have a meeting tomorrow and that food will be ready soon.”

 

Both turned to face her, Adora, far more stunned by her presence, and Catra, who was usually far more more tense at first, smiling back as a thank you, which Glimmer returned immediately.

 

_It's so nice seeing them get along now._

 

Now facing the two, she studied Adora, practically skimming over her body, as if she was looking for something, maybe, a clue?

 

“Hey, um, Catra, would you mind leaving me and Adora to discuss something, it's just it's a little...embarrassing, so?”

 

Catra nodded, unbothered, whatever it was Adora would probably tell her if it was important, so giving Adora a quick wave, she left, leaving a clueless Adora wondering what Glimmer had to say.

 

_Well, I guess I'm about to find out…_

 

Motioning for Adora to sit on her chair, she crossed her arms, while biting her lip and tapping her foot, worrying Adora even more.

 

_Am I...in trouble?_

 

Then, her mouth twisted into a suggestive smirk, and she said, “Are you, and Catra... dating?”

 

Adora gave her a quizzical look.

 

_Dati...what?_

 

Glimmer threw her hands up, groaning, “Oh come on Adora! I'm not stupid, I mean _Etheria knows_ how long it's been going on, but I thought it'd be a good idea to ask you now, especially since you guys are wearing _matching_ bracelets, with hearts on them.”

 

Adora felt like this was a big deal, but she didn't know why or exactly what it meant. So, as embarrassing as it was to admit she didn't know, maybe it'd be something she'd benefit from knowing.

 

 _Maybe it'd be something me_ **_and_ ** _Catra would benefit from knowing._

 

Glimmer was ranting about secrets and the importance of openness (or that's at least what Adora got from it) when she had interjected.

 

“Hey? Um...Glimmer, I don't - what _exactly_ is this dating thing you mentioned?”

 

Glimmer was astounded. Her mouth fell open.

 

“You're joking?”

 

Adora shook her head, confusion plastered on her face.

 

“So the horde didn't teach you anything about... relationships?”

 

“Well, no, they taught us lots about our relations to our superiors and well we did have our friends like the other cadets and...what does this have to do with _dating_?”

 

Another groan.

 

“The Horde really didn't teach you guys _sex_ education and all that stuff?”

 

_Sex education? Sounds familiar but..._

 

Adora shook her head again.

 

“You know, the birds and bees, the bees and bees, the _birds_ and _birds_?”

 

“Why are you talking about animals?”

 

“Wow…you really don't know _anything,_ huh?”

 

Adora sighed, “I guess not.”

 

Glimmer clapped her hands, pulling up a stool opposite Adora.

 

“Let's start from the basics...have you ever heard the word, girlfriend?”

 

Adora scoffed, “I'm not an _idiot_ Glimmer, that's obviously a friend, who's a girl, what else would it be?”

 

_It feels like I'm wrong somehow._

 

“Ha! Nope. Sorry Adora, you've already failed the test.”

 

Adora dulled a little.

 

The _Horde really didn't teach us as much as we thought, huh._

 

“Hey, it's okay, I'll explain it, that's what I'm here for, “ she smiled.

 

Adora gave a small smile back, “Thanks Glim.”

 

“So, as you know, we have lots of different relationships - friends, families, specifically, siblings, aunt's-”

 

“What are those again?”

 

Glimmer shot her an icy glare.

 

“Kidding, kidding!”

 

_I think._

 

She continued on.

 

“But you also have one more category - partners. Or, in your case you would be someone's girlfriend.

 

A partner is someone who you are super, _super_ close to, you are like best friends and you love spending time with each other, much like normal friends - though there's a difference.

  


With partners, a _significant other_ , you feel this burning desire for them, an attraction, not just to them as a person, but an attraction to their _looks_ , all the little things they do, and acceptance of their imperfections too.

 

You want to talk to them, to care for them and for them to care for you - that's romantic attraction, _wanting_ to be their partner. And wanting that is called a crush, on a basic level.”

 

Adora's mind felt like it was going at a hundred miles per hour trying to wrap her head around all this new information.

 

_Is this...do I…have a crush on..._

 

“Do you get it?” Glimmer tapped her lightly on the shoulder.

 

“How do, uh, how do you feel, when you, like...see them?”

 

“Well, you may feel nervous - like _really_ nervous because you like them a lot, and you're afraid you'll mess up. Sometimes that nervousness could come with stomach butterflies - the kind you feel before a big battle, you know?”

 

Adora nodded.

 

“Though for some, when their crush is near, their heart might start beating crazy fast or they could even feel a little dizzy…”

 

_I do...I am, with - when she's around - all the time…_

 

“Does that make sense?”

 

“Yeah, it does,” Adora was still deep in thought.

 

 _I do have a **crush** on Catra _.

 

Glimmer continued, “Oh, and sometimes, if you really love your partner, people will get married, which is like a step up from having a girlfriend, you know, like matrimony- but I shouldn't overwhelm you with too many details.”

 

“Yeah, that…was a lot,” Adora's head was spinning with the revelation she was having.

 

“So, do you, do you think that's how you feel about...her?” It was as if Glimmer was avoiding saying her name, or maybe as if she had known all along, but was trying to be considerate as Adora was still processing everything. Most likely the latter.

 

“Well, I care _a lot_ about Catra, even when she was on the Horde's side and I was here-” She stopped herself. She didn't want to admit how she felt aloud. For whatever reason it made her face heat up and her heart beat the way it did when Catra was near.

 

“... _And_?”

 

Of course Glimmer would coerce her to do it regardless.

 

“And, I suppose-”

 

“ _Suppose_?”

 

Adora groaned, “Okay, I _know_ , I would like her to take care of me too - though she already does to be fair. She's always making sure I'm okay, even on the battlefield, and when I am hurt, she's the first by my side and the last to leave.”

 

She had finished her sentence smiling to herself.

 

“Well are you attracted to her? You know, physically? Do you think she's pretty? Do you want to kiss her-”

 

“What's a kiss?”

 

Now it was Glimmer's turn to groan. “Remind me to explain that later, because it's _very_ important in relationships.”

 

Adora was perplexed, but she pushed that confusion to the side to answer the questions she did know the answers to.

 

After a couple seconds of silence she replied, fiddling with the bracelet Catra had gotten her.

 

“I am - attracted to her. A lot, I think. Almost every time she touches me, my heart races - not always a lot, but it's noticeable, sometimes really noticeable, and I get really dizzy and it feels like she's, like she's driving _...insane_ .”

 

Glimmer listened intently, then said, voice filled with excitement, “Wow Adora, you are _totally_ whipped for her, though it's been pretty obvious since the beginning - I mean sleeping _that_ close to someone in the same bed is just...”

 

_Glimmer knows about me and Catra sleeping together? How come she hasn't mentioned it up until now?_

 

“Anyway…” she had cut her gushing short. “I have one more question for you, just to determine how big this crush is.”

 

“Go ahead.” Adora was glad this interrogation/educational talk was nearly over.

 

“Do you love her?”

 

_Do I love her? What if I'm kidding myself?_

_No, I_ **_do_ ** _love her and always have._

 

“Adora?”

 

Glimmer was waving a hand in front of her face now.

 

_Even when we were fighting against each other, I knew I still loved her. I need her more than anything. I...I..._

 

“I do. I do, I do, I do and I have for what seems like forever!” Admitting it out loud felt as though she no longer had the whole of Etheria on her shoulders.

 

Glimmer was grinning, clapping her hands and jumping up from her stool.

 

“Then you _have_ to tell her!”

 

Adora hadn't actually realised she would actually have to do that until Glimmer had declared it quite loudly in fact.

 

Glimmer was also far too excited, talking far too noisily for Adora's liking.

 

But did it really matter how loud Glimmer was being when she had finally figured out after all these years how she truly felt about Catra?

 

No of course not, however she _was_ still being a little obnoxious.

 

“Glimmer, _Glimmer_ , _shh!”_ Adora tried to calm her down, placing her back on the stool.

 

When she had calmed down, Adora sat back down as well, sighing.

 

“I guess I do need to tell her.”

 

_But how am I gonna do that?_

 

\--

 

Adora had no clue how to do that. Feelings and emotions were hard for her to talk about, being raised in an environment where they neglected that kind of thing. So confessing these feelings she had only just found out about to the person she cared for the most in the world wasn't an easy feat.

 

_Why is it so difficult?_

 

Then the answer struck Adora in the head like an apple being pelted in her direction - rejection.

 

_What if she just wants to be friends?_

_What if she thinks I'm weird?_

_What if she just doesn't know what I'm saying?_

 

It had nearly been a week of Adora agonizing how, when and even _what_ to tell Catra.

 

And with every day that passed by, Glimmer's glares were becoming painfully obvious, and Catra was beginning to see (or maybe she had know before) that _something_ was up.

 

On the night Adora had told Glimmer about her feelings towards Catra, when Catra was finally allowed back in the room, she had panicked.

 

She couldn't say something now. Everything was too new, too muddled in her head, and if her heart wasn't thudding annoyingly before while _talking_ to Glimmer _about_ Catra, it definitely was now that she had left Adora with a curious Catra face to face with her.

 

_Did she really expect me to tell her right now?_

 

“So…” Catra inched closer, breath warm on Adora's face, “...that was a long talk, what did sparkles say?” Catra's question was innocent enough, but the look on her face wasn't, it was smug and as if she already knew something...

 

_But she can't know? Right? I'm just paranoid._

 

“Nothing, nothing, it's, it's like princess stuff and just, yeah, nothing.”

 

_She'll never believe that._

 

“Okay, if you say so.” Catra shrugged nonchalantly, walking to sit on their bed, Adora following after her.

 

_Wait...she believed it?_

 

Adora was perplexed to say the least. Catra was usually _way_ more intrusive. Though, at least that meant Adora could push that tangled web of thoughts to the back of her mind for a little while.

 

A little while was _not_ supposed to be nearly a full week however.

 

It never felt like the right mood, or setting, and for the majority of the day Adora had to do She-Ra things or help keep the Horde from attacking defenceless villages, and she couldn't exactly blurt out, “hey Catra I really love you and want to be your girlfriend,” on the battlefield.

 

Well she could, though she _wouldn't_.

 

By the time she got back, she was tired, collapsing into bed beside Catra, happy to be greeted by her warmth, falling asleep with that now comforting dazed dizziness. It was routine.

 

Though now, the comforting feeling was accompanied with her brain telling her to _:_

 

_do something, say something, **just tell her**! _

 

This went on for five days.

 

Then, on the sixth day, there was a catalyst.

  
\--

Cold. She was out cold.

 

One minute she was fine, one minute she was fighting, one minute she was fighting with Catra beside her, with her friends beside her, and they were winning.

 

They were _winning_.

 

Then, out of nowhere, she had gotten hit.

 

_I've failed them._

 

Before she lost all consciousness, she heard countless screams, cries - Catra's was the loudest, the most shaken, and most distinct to her.

 

That's _all_ she remembered. All she remembered was Catra's screech, over and over.

 

Until she woke up, in her bed, not the battlefield, not in She-Ra form, not in her regular clothes, just in a large plain white t-shirt and underwear. That was the first thing she noticed. The second was her disheveled hair poof, and the next was her back. It _screamed_ pain. It almost felt as if it was burning, like her skin was about to fall off.

 

She was able to recall what happened at the battlefield.

 

_I messed up._

 

The door opened. A puffy eyed Catra had walked in, her face uneasy and full of worry.

 

“Catra?” Adora's throat was scratchy and dry.

 

_How long was I out for?_

 

As soon as she realised the girl was awake, she practically ran over, still mindful of the tray in hand. Placing it down and handing a glass of water to Adora, she sat next to her, careful not to go too close, and watched her gulp down the liquid in seconds.

 

Catra broke the unnerving silence.

 

“I was so scared.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Adora handed her the cup, which she placed back onto the tray.

 

“Don't be, it wasn't your faul-”

 

“But I _failed_ you guys…I failed you.”

 

Catra looked agitated by her response, repeating once more, “It _wasn't_ your fault, Adora.

 

They attacked you from behind which is one of your weakest points- besides, if it's anyone's fault it's mine, I gave you those scars, and they made it worse.”

 

Her voice had grown weaker now, and she stared up at the ceiling. Adora hated seeing _this_ Catra.

 

“No, no, Catra, _stop it_ -” Adora turned her whole body towards her, legs crossed, wincing a little at the pain in her back.

 

“- remember _these_ ?” Adora gestured to the bracelet she had on, “no more blaming, ok? And that includes blaming yourself. We're making it up to each other. _Both of us_.”

 

Catra sighed, and finally meeting Adora's eyes, she said,  “Yeah, you're right, thank you Adora.”

 

Adora smiled, glad that Catra had agreed with her for once. But the smile disappeared shortly after when she realised she had forgot about -

 

“What about everyone else? How long has it been? And are they alright? Please tell me no one got it as bad as me…” her eyes were clouded with concern.

 

Catra smirked at her, which was a clear indicator that they were fine.

 

“Everyone's fine _princess_ , and it's only been a couple hours. The only one with serious injuries is you, but, I'm pretty sure the Horde is looking a lot worse for wear. The rest of the gang is still back there cleaning up - oh and Entrapta and Scorpia are there feeding some more info, they told me to say hi.”

 

Adora chuckled, feeling a lot lighter knowing everyone was safe.

 

However, the chuckling was short-lived as the searing pain on her back had made a triumphant return, stinging even more. She clung to Catra, arms wrapped around her waist and face pressed against her neck, practically _shuddering_ at the pain.

 

Catra, who seemed quite startled at first by Adora sudden embrace, cleared her throat, slowly detaching Adora from her waist. She let out a little whine, which Catra immediately interrupted.

 

“Quit being a baby! I gotta change your bandages and put some stuff on your back, so shirt off.”

 

Adora's face flushed a little, but she turned around and took her arms out of the sleeve so the shirt was around her neck nevertheless.

 

Glimmer had also explained some more about _sex_ , having to convince Adora that the Horde _were_ wrong about it hurting as much as a stab in the gut. That left her extremely curious on what exactly it did feel like, but she pushed that to another deep chasm in her mind, to be explored later.

 

Catra touched her back momentarily, which caused Adora to let out another yelp of pain.

 

“Why...why does it hurt so much?”

 

Catra's whole body was now behind her, sitting on her knees as she unwrapped the bandage with the help of Adora.

 

“Well I'm no doctor, but I do know that the Horde had some pretty deadly poison in that weapon, so mixed with the shock and the fact that your other scars aren't completely closed of...some of it must of seeped through?”

 

Adora nodded, listening attentively.

 

“Yeah, so the doc took most of it out when you were unconscious, but this weird ointment is for the remnants that are in your system to destroy it or whatever, and the bandages are just to make sure you don't get it infected and the wounds close up.”

 

Her icy hands had met Adora's scorching skin. Her heart was beating out of her rib cage, Adora thought that it could of easily burst out right then and there.

For whatever reason, this moment felt way more intimate than any other times Catra had helped tend to injuries. Maybe it was because it was her back.

 

_The back Catra had scratched._

 

Catra (and the ointment) was helping to soothe the burning pain a little, the opposite forces balancing out perfectly, as if it were on a tipping scale.

 

The silence was growing thicker and thicker, and Adora felt like if she didn't break it now, then it would stay like this for the rest of the evening.

 

_Maybe I can tell her now…_

 

It seemed her brain agreed, slowing down a little to let her think clearer of how she was supposed to do this.

 

_Start simple Adora._

 

“Thanks, Catra.”

 

She continued gently rubbing in the ointment, though at this point, she might of been doing it just to trace Adora's scars. Study them. Regret them. That slightly bothered Adora as she didn't want Catra to feel that way. Nevertheless, she let her continue to caress the marks.

 

“Don't thank me, it's nothing really.” Her voice was merely a whisper.

 

Catra had put the ointment down, and was now grabbing the bandage roll, once again requiring Adora's assistance to put it on.

 

“No, I mean it, thank you, for _everything_ you do for me, I'm so, so glad that we get to do this together now and I-”

 

_What's stopping me from just saying those three words?_

 

That was the first wall she needed to knock down again. Because before she could start explaining exactly _how much_ she loved Catra, she needed to actually tell Catra that she loved her.

 

The bandages were finally wrapped around her and she slipped the t-shirt back on, happy to feel a lot less exposed.

 

“You what?” Her brows furrowed, not that Adora could see, as her back was still facing Catra.

 

She clenched her jaw shut. The couple seconds of stillness between them was the most uneasy it had been in a while.

 

Catra had made her way around Adora, gesturing for her to make room, then sitting cross-legged, mirroring the other girl, staring intently into her eyes.

 

The anxiety in them was obvious. Even Adora knew.

 

“What is it Adora?” I feel like this past week you've been, like, I don't know, avoiding to tell me something. Ever since you and Sparkles talked and I've been kinda…”

 

 _She's been worried. She thinks she's done something_.

 

“No, no, you haven't done anything, bad Catra, it's not really about- well it is, well, I, um-”

 

Catra had grabbed Adora's hand, placing them in her lap, eyes warm and voice soft.

 

“Adora, chill out, whatever it is, it's clearly a lot, so take it slow, I'm listening.”

 

_She's listening._

 

Catra's comforting words boosted her confidence. Adora breathed in.

 

“Okay. Well, we've been best friends forever now, we've always been close. Until we weren't, but now we are again, and Catra, you don't understand how happy I am, waking up next to you everyday, fighting beside you and-”

 

She slowed down a little, figuring out a systematic way to say it, but she couldn't, so she let her emotions take the reign.

 

“ _I love you,_ Catra.

 

I know we've said that before to each other, but I really do, and my love for you isn't a weakness like the Horde said. It's what makes me strong and Glimmer helped me realise that I love you in a _not just friends_ way…”

 

Catra's expression was mostly blank, she was trying to be as unreactive as possible, even when she asked in a stammer, “W-what are you saying then?”

 

 _Of course it's not going to be easy to explain_...

 

“I love you in a romantic way. I want you to be my...um partner, my _girlfriend_ and I want to take care of you and I want you to take care of me because I care about you so much and you are _constantly_ on my mind every single day without fail.”

 

Catra's face was still blank, still processing the words, but Adora continued, in hope she would understand the more she explained.

 

“I know this might be a little confusing, but-

I'm attracted to you, physically, I think you're _beautiful_ , I think you have the prettiest eyes, and that you have a gorgeous smile and that you have the cutest giggle, and I love, I _love_ your hair - and fur, I love both. And when I see you, and when you touch me my heart starts racing like Swift Wind when someone has a carrot and I always feel a little dizzy, dazed even. Some people get, like, battle butterflies, you know like that nervous feeling before a battle?”

 

Catra's ears perked up, “butterflies huh…”

Adora nodded, adrenaline still pumping before realising she had probably said _way_ too much to comprehend.

 

Catra looked a little stunned, but nowhere near as flustered as Adora was.

 

_What if she doesn't want to be with me?_

 

Adora let out a drawn out breath. “I don't know if you feel the same way about me, because if you don't then I can't force you to, and I don't even know if you understand a word of what I'm saying, but I just- you mean so much to me Catra. I said it before, and I'll say it again; _I love you_.”

 

Adora didn't know what to think or what Catra was thinking, especially when she gave Adora a toothy grin, before letting out a little giggle.

 

_Hu-huh?_

 

“Now I get why Glimmer's been eyeing you all week, she was waiting for you to do this!” Catra threw her hands up, making Adora miss the lost contact.

 

“I-I don't get what you're saying…” Adora scratched her head, extremely baffled at why Catra had just _laughed_ at her confession.

 

However, now she looked a lot more serious.

 

“So, Bow and I were talking, and the whole bracelet thing came up, and he basically told me what Glimmer told you I guess, minus the whole confession thing.

 

I didn't really think...well, I didn't think that you would feel the same, or know what I was saying, so I didn't want to risk what we had. But I guess I didn't have worry about that, though I can't lie, your confession had my gears grinding, I was shocked to say the least.”

 

The smirk had come back. And this time it was infectious.

 

_Thank Etheria for Bow._

 

“So, what you're saying is that?” Adora took hold of one of Catra's hands.

 

“What I’m saying, is that-” Catra leant forward and gave her a peck on the cheek, leaving Adora flustered and speechless, “I love you too, ya big dork.”

 

Adora's eyes lit up brighter than they ever had before, her head was spinning with nothing but happy thoughts and her heart proceeded to do the usual.

 

 _ThudThudThudThudThudThudThud_.

 

“Does this mean that we're girlfriends now?”

 

_ThudThudThudThudThudThudThud._

 

“Yeah, _girlfriends_ ,” Catra whispered, leaving another peck on her other cheek.

 

_ThudThudThudThudThudThudThud._

 

“Can...can I, _kiss_ you?”

 

Catra nodded, and Adora gripped her arm, led her to the head of the bed and hovered over her, placing herself in her lap, each leg on the other side of Catra's slender ones.

 

Adora remembered when Catra used to fall asleep in her lap as kids...this was a _lot_ different.

 

_We're about to **kiss**. _

 

Adora was leaning closer to Catra, breath heavy as she wrapped her arms around Catra's neck, breath becoming even heavier when Catra grips her hips.

 

_ThudThudThudThudThudThudThud._

 

Their foreheads were pressed together and their breaths were slowly starting to mingle together.

 

Adora's head was whirling with a thousand thoughts but yet only one prevalent one:

 

_We're about to **kiss**. _

 

Then they were kissing. It was warm, it was welcoming, it was gentle, it was the dream Adora never dreamed of.

 

It was love. It was _their_ love.

 

It was the love they had felt for years without knowing and it was the love they were experiencing now, fully aware for the first time.

 

Adora was starting to short circuit, so she begrudgingly stopped, allowing herself to breath (of course she forgot to breath) and sunk into the mattress, lying on her side, facing her _girlfriend._

 

Catra placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

 

“I love you, Adora,” she murmured. “I love you and always have. I love your stupid smile, and your beautiful blonde hair, and your big blue eyes and...This is cheesy but, you're the closest thing to perfect to me. You really are, and I _never_ wanna hurt you again.”

 

Tears welled up in Adora's eyes and that dazed feeling she was used to was the most intense it had ever been.

 

“I never want to hurt you again either, Catra,” she placed a kiss on Catra's jaw.

 

“ _I love you_ ,” Catra had the most sincere smile Adora has seen on her in what might have been years as she uttered those three words once more. Another kiss.

 

 

Adora replied, “I love you too, Catra.” Another kiss.

 

Adora was growing tired, the day had been the _very_ eventful, so what would be better than ending the day in her _girlfriends_ arms?

 

Turning to face the other way, Catra scooted closer, far too familiar with the routine the two had.

 

Now, it was different though.

 

 _Different in the best way_.

 

The two fell asleep gradually, unable to refrain from repeating _'I love you’_ over and over again, Adora kissing Catra's hand or Catra kissing Adora's neck every single time they did so.

 

After years of these feelings being buried inside them, the pair had soundlessly agreed they wanted them to be as out in the open as possible.

 

So, when Adora fell asleep, the only thing her brain recalled, was those three words, and Catra's lips.

 

Even though there was a war raging on, even though her back still stung with pain, everything felt perfect. She finally felt wholly at peace.

 

\---

 

Adora didn't have any weaknesses. Well, unless you counted Catra. Because Catra drove her up the wall.

 

 _In the best way possible_.

 

Although her heart didn't go _thudthud_ as loud as it once did when Catra touched her, spoke to her or flashed that charming grin of hers, it still skipped a beat of pure bliss when she would press her lips against Catra's.

 

And when Catra kissed back, she would be lying if she said she didn't get a little light headed.

 

 _She was near perfect_.

 

And she would **always** drive Adora insane.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. I finally did it! I'm pretty proud to be honest as this is the first fanfic I've ever finished and so the fact I've finally seen something to the end (even if it was only 4 chapters) is a big deal to me.
> 
> I definitely want to do a longer multi-chapter fic in the future, most likely an au, but for now I want to focus on my asks and one shots, so look forward to those and if you want to know when I release new stuff, subscribe to my account (I'm sorry for the plug but you know).
> 
> Anyway, leave your favourite part in the comments, personally I loved the dialogue with Gilmmer and Adora that was gold haha
> 
> Also if you'd like to follow me on Tumblr, so we can talk and interact and be FRIENDS (idk why caps were needed but yea), my username is the exact same, here's the link too:
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bow-woahh

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you if you got to the end, I'd really appreciate comments and kudos!
> 
> I plan on getting up the next two chapters next week, since they are already written, then the last up the following week. 
> 
> Also if you'd like to follow me on Tumblr, my username is the exact same lmao, here's the link too:
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bow-woahh
> 
> Edit: thank you so much for over 2000 hits and 300 kudos! (:


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